Engineers vs. Managers

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degree north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am", replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

TOTFL (Test Of Tamil as a Foreign Language)

Are you ready to take the TOTFL (Test of Tamil as a Foreign Language)?

Joot!

Questions:

1) What is a Jujubi ?

a) Something sweet
b) An easy one
c) A tough one
d) An Alwaa

2) What is Alwaa?

a) Something you find in Tirunelveli
b) What a girlfriend gives when she marries someone else
c) A laddu
d) Jujubi


3) What do you do with a Gujili?

a) Gujaals
b) Gilma
c) Gilpans
d) Galij

4) What is the respectful way to address a friend?

a) Machi
b) Sir
c) By name
d) Aiya

5) Who is a 'Frooti' ?

a) A studious person
b) A sportsman
c) The professor
d) A soft drink

6) When someone says 'nambitten', what do they mean?

a) I don't believe you!
b) Sure, I believe you
c) Are you nuts??
d) I have to catch a bus

7) Who or what is Peter?

a) A tourist
b) Someone who talks only in English
c) Peter Jones
d) Your teacher

8) For which of the following ! events will you say 'Gumbaloda Govinda'?

a) When you go to Tirupati as a group
b) When the entire gang has been caught watching 'matter'-padam
c) When you do group studies
d) Meeting a Hindi actor

9) What is a 'rupture'?
a) Kadi
b) Draabai
c) Trouble
d) Danger

10) When Someone refering to a woman as 'Seriyana Kattai' ?

a) she is genius
b) she is lean
c) she had looted all guys eyes...
d) she wears wooden chappals.

Check out the answers ...
Correct Answers:

1 - b, 2 - b, 3 - b, 4 - a, 5 - a, 6 - a, 7 - b, 8 - b, 9 - c, 10 - c

If you have scored more than 7 marks , Kalakitta maams...

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Refer the following Dictionary Of Madras Tamilu to pass in this TOTFL Exam...

Allwa - To cheat
Aatha - Mother
Abase - Loot adiththal
Alppam - A silly/cheap dude
Anna - The elder brother
Anni - Anna's figure
Appeettu - Unsuccessful
Asaththal - Kalakkal
Bajari - A not-so-friendly figure
Bandha - Pillim
Bekku - Fool
Body - Muscular Machi
Chithee - Aunty Figure
Dapsa/Doop - Lie
Desi Gujili - An Indian figure in US
Dhil - Courage
Dhool - Super
Dham - To smoke
Daavu - Site seeing
Dickielona - A friendly game played in Delhi (courtesy Movie : Gentleman)
Damaram - Deaf
Dori - Squint-eyed Figure item - Young/Attractive Lady/Women/Girl
Freeyaavidu - Forget it
Gaali - Appeettu
Gujili - Figure
Guru - Head of the gang
Gujaals - Having fun with Gujilis
Gaanapaattu - Rap song sung by Machis
Galeej - Dirty
Gilli, Goli - Traditional games played in Madras
Goltti - A dude from Andhra
Jakku - An exclamation on seeing a not-so-Takkar figure (see Jil below)
Jollu - Bird watching
Jilpaans - Gujaals
Jute - Escape when caught up by girlfriend's father.
Jujubi - Easy
Jil - An exclamation on seeing a Takkar figure
Jalsa - Same as Gujaals
Kaattaan - Uncivilized/ Rude Machi
Kenai - Idiot
Kikku / Mabbu - Intoxicated/under influence
Kalakkalls - To cause a flutter
Kanai pakri - Friend of ushar pakri
Kindal - To make Fun
Kaka adikarathu - Putting soaps to someone
K M L - Kedacha Mattum Labam
Kutti - Figure
Kudumba figure - Homeloving Gujli
Kudumba paatu - A song with which machis identify themselves
Kulls - A short machi
Laddu - Allva
Loot adiththal - to steal
Maams - One cool dude
Maanga - Fool
Machi - Maams
Mandai - A sharp guy
Mary - feminine of Peter
Mavu - refer O B.
Nachunu - Bull's eye
Nambitten - I don't believe you
Naattu Katt! ai - A well-built village figure
Naattan - Villager
Naamam - To cheat
Naina - Father (courtesy Telugu)
Kadalai - Machi talking to a Gujili or vice versa
OB - To waste time
Ottal - To make fun of some one
Ondrai anna - Worthless
Pattaani - Machi talking to Machi or Gujli talking to Gujli
Peter Party - Machi trying to show off by talking in hi-fi english
Pathni - A figure who goes around the block
Pakkri - A shrewd dude
Petta - Area
Pisaaththu - Cheap
Pillim - Show-off
Peela - To lie
Rambo - A manly figure
Sister - Often used by Machis while Approching Figures for the first time
Songi - Lazy
Saanthu pottu - Possibility of getting beaten by a stick (courtesy Movie : Thevar Magan)
Takkar figure - Semma figure
Thanni - Liquor
Thalaivar - Leader
Tin katrathu - Getting into trouble (courtesy Movie: Anjali)
Ushar pakri - Smart pakri
Vennai - Fruit
Weightaana figure - A very attractive/rich figure
Wrong kaatrathu - Acting indifferently

Software Engineer's Wedding Invitation

Software Engineer Chat

Our hero chatting with chat GF (heroine). Both are s/w engrs by the way and both work for real big MNC's :)

Hero: Hey..GM.. hows u doing today?

Heroine: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find you on chat

Heroine: Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) i'll get some coffee.

Hero: OK

(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with you, if I give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for heroine to arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Heroine: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my stupid manager asks, he's keeps asking stupid things, tries to give me stupid work

Heroine: Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real stupid ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u r rite!!

Heroine: Hey, can u do me a favour

Hero: (*smiles*) sure, y not.

Heroine: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime number,given N. would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its real urgent for me to work this out

Hero: hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour from now..ok?

Heroine: WASTE-FELLOW, THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO I AM NOW!! YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!